The taxi driver looked around him and asked, “So what has
happened since 2010? What happened when some of it was flooded?”
The woman sounded well-rehearsed as she narrated the story:
“The Thames Barrier did not hold back the flood. The water rose over the gates.
There was so much water that it came in a great wave knocking aside everything
in its path. It surged onwards and upwards, when it arrived in Central London
it was as high as Nelson’s Column. The water was so dirty, it was almost black,
taking with it dead animals, buildings, rotten food, and goodness knows what
else! Downstream, all the water meadows were deluged, Hall Place was submerged,
Sutcliffe Park, Belvedere and all parts of Essex were unrecognisable.”
“So what about all the things that were planned… what about
the Olympics?” I asked, aware that it was perhaps a strange question, but all
the preparations had been happening when we left 2010.
“Well, I was in the Olympics actually,” she said, smiling.
“I was a runner. But it didn’t go so well.. it was complicated.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was the keeper of a magic diamond.” She replied. “But
when I took part in the race it fell out of my pocket. When I stopped to pick
it up all the other athletes ran past me and it got kicked into the crowd. The
race was won by someone else, everybody stood up, clapping and shouting and
hurried out of the stadium.
“The diamond? Do you mean our diamond?” the taxi driver
asked incredulously, but she simply continued with her story.
“A little girl from the crowd had taken it. I tried to get
it back from her- I even chased her mother’s car- but she threw it into the
River Thames and I had to swim after it. But a fish had swallowed it and I
ended up having to cook it to get it out!” she smiled at the memory. “But it is
difficult to keep hold of things when the river keeps flooding every few
years.”
“So these floods,” I said, “why are they happening? Is it
because of climate change?”
“Yes,” she replied. “The first big one was in 2025, and then
there was another one in 2040. I tried to keep hold of the diamond like I was
supposed to, but every time it flooded all of our possessions would get swept
away. It once fell down a pothole and we had to get some archaeologists to come
and look for it. But in 2040 it was knocked into an oyster shell along the
Thames beach. When we found it that time King Joseph sent us a letter to
congratulate us.”
“King Joseph?”
“Yes, William’s son,” she said, as if it was obvious.
As she spoke a strange animal walked past.
“What on earth is that?” asked the taxi driver with a jump.
“That is Dynamite Danger,” the woman replied. “He’s my pet-
he’s half pig and half horse.” She patted him on the head as she spoke.
“Half pig..?” I began.
“Yes, he has amazing special powers and can sense danger
from afar. When he senses danger he bangs his hoof on the ground. He can create
an earthquake which only applies to the victim. Then with his laser eyes he
burns the evil out of them. He grows bigger and more powerful each time he uses
his powers. When he can’t burn the evil out of someone he eats them. He
consumes the scorched plants that can’t be eaten by the humans. He used to live
in caves hidden deep in the grass on the mountains. He drinks salty water, pond
water, animal Red Bull, Coke, lemonade.”
The strange creature suddenly jumped and lifted his front
leg. Shaking his head he stamped it into the dusty ground in front of us.
“Danger! He can sense danger!” the woman exclaimed, and
looked at us with a worried expression.